When it comes to professional communication skills, most people have trouble with the whole, “constructive criticism,” thing.
If you want to be a truly polished, savvy communicator at work, this is one communication skill you must develop (especially if you’re dealing with difficult people, or negativity in the workplace). You can develop this skill with just one quick tactic–the Criticize with Compliments tactic. Of course there are many different ways we can criticize people effectively and constructively. This is just one. Make sure to register with us or subscribe to our RSS feed for more.
Here’s how it goes:
Step 1- Figure out what the person did or does well, and takes pride in. Then determine the specific thing you need to criticize (just one thing at a time). Remember these for step 2.
Step 2- Use a verbal pattern such as, “You’re too___to let___diminish that.” (If using different scripts and verbal patterns is new to you, get accustomed to it; they can help you transform your professional communication skills literally overnight.) Place what they’re good at in the first blank, and what you’re criticizing in the second blank.
Here’s how it sounds: “You’re too polished a professional to let something like your wardrobe tarnish your image.” (Translation: I’ve nominated you for What Not to Wear.) A second example would be: “You’re too good at what you do to let a personality conflict negatively affect your career.” (Translation: Stop being such a baby, and go apologize to Mary.) A third example would be: “You’re too good at what you do to let something like simple typos distract from your message.” (Translation: Start proofing your emails–they look like a 9-year-old is writing them.)
The above tactic is best used if this is the first time you have brought up the particular issue. If it’s the second or third time, I suggest following it up with an, “I suggest…” line, such as, “I suggest we go to Macy’s where I can introduce you to my personal shopper. She’s great, and the service is free.”
Remember: Use “I suggest,” not “I’d suggest.” There is a difference. “I’d suggest” is a danger phrase.
Keep checking back for more on danger phrases, power phrases, and other communication strategies you can use at work and at home. Do you have a communication challenge? Click here to Ask Dan for help.
Tags: Communication Advice, Communication Help, Communication Tips, Difficult People at Work, effective communication, Magic Phrases, Power Phrases